Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Who are we? An introduction to the Epic Riders Team



I admit, this was my stupid idea.  I wanted adventure, after being reminded starkly that life is for living: see here.  

I’ve assembled my team slowly and carefully to comprise an elite squad of misfits, all with complementing skills, each bringing something very important to the table to enable this to be delivered.  This post outlines who’s who and what they bring.  Be aware that we are all very, very funny.  I’m very grateful to all of those who are not only humouring me but offering to spend substantial amounts of time and money joining and supporting this team.  

David ‘Euro Plates’ Mould


I have to admit to starting this thing off.  “It’s only 50 miles more than Lands End to John o’ Groats”.  Well, it might be, and the weather should be fairer, but it’s a blimin’ long way.  I’m a hydrologist by trade, so prone to being a bit wet.  I only started road biking last Autumn, so this transition has been reasonably dramatic.  

Sinéad ‘Aunty Nobby’ Matthews


 Sinéad is an old school friend of Claire (David’s better half) and Jen.  She’s an engineer and inventor, but nobody outside of the Oxford Science Park can expand on this with any certainty.  Nobby’s jokes are pretty horrific at times and often pass by unnoticed, but those that know her best get used to it.  She’s equally horrifically clever and has got a photographic memory, so is a great addition to any team that don’t take themselves too seriously.  

Simon ‘Chicken Legs’ Mould


Simon is my brother.  He’s the senior rider, and renowned across Oxfordshire for the shape of his legs.  Professionally, Simon is untouchable in terms of delivering management consultancy though Ujasiri, and has added great depth to our commercial sponsorship and network of supporters.  He’s determined, incredibly strong despite his immense age and various horrific physical limitations.  

Nick ‘Half-Wheel’ Antram


Never trust the quiet one.  Nick is a user-experience developer, and currently works for Anne Summers.  He’s a talented guy, and always has something useful to say.  Nick couldn’t resist flying out to join in with the Epic Riders for Mont Ventoux, and thought he’d hang on in the slipstream to Barça for a beer. 

Barry ‘William’ Fix (it)


Barry is David and Simon’s uncle, and has agreed to drive our support car all the way, in return for one of those Spanish dancing dolls you buy at a market out there.  He doesn’t yet know what he’s in for.  There’s the laundry, massaging, cleaning, maintenance, verruca-rubbing, applying bottom cream, first aid (if different from the cream...), being the target of endless jokes...  

Just mind those corners on the mountain pass, Bazo.

Filipe ‘Mr Bridger’ Salbany


An ex- cycling pro, Filipe is now a physiologist at Oxford University (their secret weapon in the boat race), bee-keeper, mechanic, father etc. etc.  He’s just The Man, and our Sensei.  He exudes knowledge about looking after bikes, riding technique and trip logistics.  He’s modest, generous and technically brilliant.  We are indebted to him for fixing the mistakes of dozens of bike shops, and for doing the job properly.  And we apologise and thank him for not giving our machines the attention they deserve, and instead just dropping them at his place.  

If we make it, Filipe will be at home with a wry smile as he walks down the metal steps to a celebratory dinner (perhaps with his daughters banging pans in the background).  


Claire Humphreys


David’s (much) better half for the last 15 years.  She’s singularly the best Mum ever to have existed, which includes being a great baker: welcome after a long training ride.  Claire epitomises down-to-Earth, and is a darling of the village, getting involved in every fundraiser possible.  Her cross-cutting résumé of skills is typified by recently netting a composed hat-trick against the Bluebirds Under 8s in a Parents vs. Boys training game. 

Claire has put up with me being absent for many weekend hours over the last few months whilst I get my legs (what there is of them) ready for this.  


Phil ‘Aston Tirrold 461’ Hopkins
Phil is our media man, and is clearly talented as he’s made us look like reasonable human beings in the photos.  He makes moving images for a living, and by all accounts does it rather well as Coo Yah (@philhop/www.cooyah.co.uk).  Phil is haunted by memories of 1920s films from his childhood, but we keep an eye on him.  He’s joining us on Day 1, and I think he will enjoy wearing the team shirt once the memories of coercion fade: ‘friends’, huh!  

Rachel ‘Raquel’ Mould

Not to be confused with Tessa Peake-Jones, Rachel married Simon.  She’s coping, but does like a huge logistical challenge to take her mind off things. 

Jonathan ‘If it’s Italian, I’ll buy it’ Day
Jon is a semi-regular training partner for the Epic Riders, and always suspiciously strong despite the rarity of his rides.  Jon loves the gear, but backs it up with the ideas, and is a thoroughly lovely chap. 

Rob ‘8 Bikes’ Arnold
The third graduate associated with the Epics from the NCT class of 2007, Rob has more bikes than the rest of us put together.  His garage is big enough though (no euphemism intended), so fair play to the man. 

Simon ‘V2’ Collinson
Simon climbs like Quintana and descends like a V2.  He’s put his money where his mouth is for us with some corporate sponsorship.  He’s also helped train Simon up over the winter, and can often be seen with a stopwatch at the top of Chinnor Hill.  We’re very grateful, as we’ll be tucking in not only in the Black Horse in Barnet, but behind Simon on the ride. 

Matt Esrich
Matt is a comedian, often found gigging in Oxfordshire villages.  He’s a serious rider though, with explosive stares.  We’re grateful to have him as a reliable training partner and Day 1 Epic Rider, and are deeply fond of him. 


Pulling this off (or trying to) is no mean feat.  I’m immensely proud of this bunch, and I’m grateful for their commitment, their skills, their generosity and the fact that they put up with my humour.  Thank you sincerely one and all.  Epic is an understatement in my opinion. 
The length of Italy next year, guys?
David

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